I have officially become very worn out from this process of training and learning a language I feel like I will never grasp. I miss all of my friends and family and hope I will not be forgotten. I am doing good though; I know this is what I signed up for and life is good but I need you all to know that I have become tired.
With that said I will explain. I just spent seven days with my host family who has become frustrated with me because I am not fluent in Tashleheet after ten days of training. They laugh at me like I am an idiot and I just want to remind them that I have a college degree and they are the ones who are illiterate. Everyday for the last week I spend nine hours in a classroom learning Tash and then I go home to speak these words that in my head become a cluster of phrases and all I can rememeber is Mnshk alkiman which means what time is it. You can only ask that so many times before they start to question your sanity.
Another one of my current frustrations is I have not spent one moment alone for the past six weeks. I spent the past seven days in a group which I love for the most part except there are some personalities that feel the need to control everything and I dont like to be controlled.
I know this is what I signed up for and being uncomfortable is part of it. I am in the Peace Corps to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I can officially say I am not there yet after one month of training.
I just wanted to let you know the truths of my life.
I will conclude in saying that I am grateful to be given this experience so I can realize the simple things in life are what matter. I am also grateful that American where I can sit on a toilet and sleep in a bed. I am officially learning the discomforts of being in the Peace Corps. Dad I know as you read this you are smiling because you know this is exactly what I need in my life. I know this is what I need in my life.
I love you all and keep in touch,
Emmy
Dont worry about me all of my discomforts are the reason I decided to join the Peace Corps. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger; right.
8 comments:
Throughout life you are going to ask yourself "Is this really what I signed up for!"
I am also currently going through this with my schooling. With an unstable economy the design world is hurting and finding an internship may be out of reach.
All we can do is continue to work hard and hope someday things will come together.
Love you
Sachel
be
Nikki and I talked to Emmy on the phone on Sunday and she was cheerful and positive. She explained that after returning from their host families, the Trainees "debrief" each other by complaining and talking about home. It was after such a session that she wrote her blog entry. A 24 hour waiting period after her return from the field has been self imposed for future entries.
Emmy will be doing language study again, 9 hours a day, until Thursday when she will return to her host family for another week. She remains excited about the future opportunities for sel-discipline that await her. She insists she hasn't slept past 8:00 am since she got to Morocco.
Asrof, (help me with the spelling)who is Emmy's friend and Arabic language teacher here in Bemidji, MN, Emmy thanks you for the supportive phone call.
Emmy will be 1 month away from completing her training period and receiving her assignment as a sworn-in member of the Peace Corp, the next time she returns from her host family. Then she can buy her donkey
Emmy,
Look at it like this -
You are in Morocco, one of the birth places of civilization, learning a language that virtually assures you of employment for the remainder of your professional life, and living a life few could imagine, all while being 4500 miles from the comforts of Bemidji, MN.
I wear a suit and talk like an a$$hole to other a$$holes all day about the ideas they don't have and the problems they have no will to solve. This is the day to day life of probably 75% of the population of the world's developed nations, and a sign that the apocalypse may in fact be drawing nigh.
You are going to miss home, and home will certainly miss you...but, it's called "home" for a reason.
Learn another language, immerse yourself in a new culture, write about, take some pictures, and dominate.
I refuse to read any of this self pity drivel for the extent of your adventure. I'm moving to Prague on September 16/17th and will travel to Africa sometime next spring. Upon my arrival, I am sure the fact that you are 100 times cooler and more worldly than every single person I know, have met, or will meet will be evident a,most instantaneously.
i will get a phone card and give you a call on your native-tongue purchased cell phone in the near future. In the meantime, suck it up, get a donkey, and kick some ass.
Zach
Chief Donkey Sales Rep
MoroccDonk.com
Wow, well said, Zack. It makes me feel extremely fortunate to exploit the poor, foolish, and addicted in America and be allowed by the "boss" to lecture, some would say berate, them about their foolishness, poverty, and addictions all the while making a tidy profit off their above situations. I, too, have worked with at least the latter, the ones who have "no will to solve" the problems. The message, Emmy, is to make yourself indepensible to as many people as you can so you can always maintain your own integrity instead of selling it off to keep a job.
Wow, well said, Zack. It makes me feel extremely fortunate to exploit the poor, foolish, and addicted in America and be allowed by the "boss" to lecture, some would say berate, them about their foolishness, poverty, and addictions all the while making a tidy profit off their above situations. I, too, have worked with at least the latter, the ones who have "no will to solve" the problems. The message, Emmy, is to make yourself indepensible to as many people as you can so you can always maintain your own integrity instead of selling it off to keep a job.
Emmy Emmy!!! Posting on this thing requires a damn college degree. I'm going to be sure and copy and paste before I press "publish." I am so proud of you! You're eating more vegetables, even though you don't have much choice in the situation. I can only imagine what you're going through with this Tash language. Spanish was enough to give me a headache and you're not only speaking but living, eating, and sleeping in it. You just have to remind yourself that it will only get easier and easier as the days go on.
Steph and Chels just came out to visit. We had a wonderful time and it was great to see them. It's still my hope that within the next year that I'm able to travel abroad. hopefully we'll be able to consult beforehand and I can come see my lil Moroccan! :)
I hope all continues to improve! Stay strong emmy and know that we will all be here upon your return and are thinking of you always!
Love and miss you!
Sneids
ps...please send me your address that I should send to within the next month! I have a bead for you! :)
Emmy Lou,
Its hard to know exactly what to say, I assume that more than anything all you need right now is a bit of love and a familiar face. I can't imagine how tiring life can get at times but every day endured is also another lesson (or 56) learned. Right?
Its takes a lot more than an ocean to forget a person like you, Emmy. You know that. You've been an extremely solid and reliable friend to many people, have no fear, you will not be forgotten. I talk about you often, as a matter of fact, Riley and I just had a conversation about how "rad" you really are. -We were referring to the night we polished your roommates glass ware off. *wink, wink.
Hang in there, Em... At the end of the day you have the choice to make this experience what it is or more importantly, what it can be. Have no regrets.
*Plus, you have mail coming!
Love you!
nik
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